Thursday night, March of 2012.

2am.

I forgot the charger

For my laptop computer

At home.

I feel I can choose to be

Annoyed,

Or I can take advantage of

That limited

Time frame

And write something.

The latter is the service I have

Chosen.

Now,

At work,

As the hush of night

Manifests on the ward,

I find time

To stop and

Reflect.

                Is my wife happy in spiritual life?

Am I truthful in my dealings?

                Am I doing enough for my Guru Maharaja?

                Am I reading Srila Prabhupada’s books?

                When will we do harinama again?

               

                When will death come…?

Tapas prabhu

Recently gave a class

In Stockholm

About spiritual anxiety.

Any so called

Negative experience,

If dovetailed with

Krishna,

Becomes a source

For devotional service.

And Suhotra Maharaja said

That devotees do not pray

For good situations,

They want to serve Krishna

In any situation,

Be it good or bad.

Personally

I do not possess

That vision.

My level is lower.

But

By the grace of Srila Prabhupada’s

ISKCON,

I have access to serving

Those who have it.

Who are on that level.

And that is as good

As the real thing.

This thought

Is most

Inspiring.

This thought is a great

Reservoir of

Spiritual hope.

Success can be had

Even for rascals,

To the extent that they

Are willing to take up

The humility

To admit

That this process

Of sravanam kirtanam

And

Sadhu sanga

Is made to unrascalify

And to reinstate reality

In the hearts of fallen jivas.

The reality of

Krishna Consciousness.

Not as

An artificial imposition on the mind,

But as our natural state

Of being

As parts and parcels

Of the Supreme Whole,

Radha and Krishna.

Bottom line.

Our feelings

And mental states

Originate

From the spiritual realm.

Perverted here

By the modes of material nature,

They can be transformed

Into assets,

By engaging in

Purificatory activities,

Of who’s

Commander in chief

Is the Hare Krishna

Mahamantra

And who’s vital force

Is devotee association.

My dear mind,

Recall this truth

At critical junctures.

My dear intelligence,

Cast away all doubt

And find peace

In this science.

My dear heart,

Embrace this

As the all in all.

My dear Gaura NItai,

If You desire it,

Please let me continue

For the pleasure of

My spiritual master.

If You desire it,

Make me eligible

To take advantage

Of all the opportunities

You send my way.

Keep me coming back

For more…