Then and now, December of 2011

Alas,

I desired to come to

The material world.

Question:

“Would I have chosen differently

Now?”

With all my heart:

“YES!”

But,

I can observe

My current position

And disposition,

And I realize that

That this may not be

The immediate fact

Of the matter.

Truthfully,

I cannot proclaim

The abovementioned

Initial, heartfelt

Reply.

Because,

If my immediate answer was to be

Yes,

Then I would already

Be back home,

With Krishna.

The fact that my consciousness remains

Attached to this material world,

Is itself proof of the real answer:

“I would still have come.. “

And

This is why

I do not break my back on the streets

With books;

This is why

I have no control over my habits of

Sleeping and eating;

This is why

My mind is restless,

My heart is morose,

My senses are agitated.

However,

On the bright side,

That is what this world is made for.

To realize this fact.

To turn “I will come”

Into “I am done”.

This is the blessing

Of the process given

By our ever well wishers.

So,

Embrace this process,

Utilize this place.

This chance of the human birth.

Gradually,

Alright,

But with the heart,

With the faith that

                This is it!

                Now just keep it up,

                Through thick and thin.

                Arise after falling,

Bruised knees will heal

With time.

Take it on,

More and more,

And all blessings will come.

All blessings

Will come.