Vrindavan, 20.08.2012

Monsoon humidity.

Rehydrate and 

Ventilate. 

The fan, 

Always the fan 

Is going 

In the background. 

You don’t notice it 

Anymore, 

Until you switch it off. 

Amazing silence. 

For that Krishna conscious 

Perspective, 

Srila Prabhupada

Would sometimes use 

The fan analogy: 

(In my own words) 

“When you switch 

Off the fan, 

Still it will 

Rotate some time, 

Even when 

Unplugged 

From the electricity. 

Similarly, 

We may take up this 

Krishna consciousness 

Process, 

We may unplug the 

Fan. 

Still, material desires 

And conditionings 

Will linger for 

Some time, 

Due only to the 

Power of the rotation 

In the cycle of 

Birth and death.” 

The silence 

Of the fan 

Gives the realization 

Of the real 

Noise 

Of the fan in 

Motion, 

Which you never 

Seem to notice 

While under the 

So called 

Ventilated state 

Of being forced 

Between 

Perspiration and 

Rehydration 

In the humidity 

Of this monsoon like

Reality 

Of material relativity. 

NOTE:

After a time of absence, I desire now to again become active on this blog. Thank you for you patience.

Seated amongst the reeds of coastline Denmark, mid september, 2013

A last sip

of freedom,

in the eyes

of a friend.

Feint whisper

of past pledges,

by coastline view

is seated

windowed you.

Trembling reeds

bent as bows,

who's invisible arrows

make war on

the surging forces

of the almighty wind.

Resolve remains firm.

(“Not on all levels”,

whispers someone,

an observing spectator.)

Still,

resolve based on hope,

hope based on faith,

faith based

on taste.

Seemingly endless rows

of reeds,

flailing their bodies

against the surging forces

of almighty wind.

I have no such

courage.

Risking life and

limb is

not my level.

However,

I can serve

as a mere tool

at the practical end

of the specter

of life.

To loose hope

gives no

meaning,

in our philosophy.

Let the mind have

past and future

for selfish

indulgence.

In the now,

there is always

activity.  

Appreciation of Srila Prabhupada's books, part one: Sri Isopanisad

Sri Isopanisad, that seemingly small book, decorated with Lord Kesava on the cover, benignly smiling back at any potential reader. In reality there is nothing small about this sastra, except maybe for its printed size. For me, a recent student of Sri Isopanisad, the book has steadily increased in size, matured you might say, especially in its importance as an authoritative scripture on the subject of the true nature of the living entity, the jiva soul.

In the course of my study of this vedic Upanisad, I have several times found myself mystified by its ability to unlock, never before seen vaults of the heart, revealing particles of perceptions into true reality, and thus consequently ushering in a desire to know more and become increasingly active in uncovering life's true treasure, the jivas eternal relationship with the Supreme Lord, as a servant of Sri Krishna.

Now, immediately an obstacle presents itself: Material conditioning. That oh, so regrettable desire to enter the mundane realm of relativity, seeking self-appointed lordship over dull matter and bodies, with its adherent gratification of the mind and senses. A jiva thus covered by the identification manifested from such indulgements, sinks into the deepest forgetfulness of its spiritual origin and devotional heritage. In this state of false ego, eons pass like the waves of the fathomless ocean, ending seemingly in eternity with the bondage of repeated birth and death in the cycle of species of life.

In all honesty, I am such a jiva. This is my realisation. I made this choice. This is my relative reality. Therefore, this essay aims at the process of rediscovering my true nature as a citizen of the spiritual world, the jivas eternal home. And this book, Sri Isopanisad, shall be my companion and guide, mostly on account of its authoritative presentation by the great hero of the modern day gaudya vaishnava line, Srila Prabhupada. His dictated voice, recorded in these pages, his self-proclaimed "written kirtans" (letter to Rupanuga, 19.10.1974), is that valuable map, where x marks the spot of the treasure buried within. That treasure of the heart, dormant and neglected since time immemorial, yet still completely tangible and real.

This verdict of the Sri Isopanisad, on the subject matter of the origin of the jiva, is brought to the attention of the reader in the very invocation mantra of this book, purnat purnam udacyate. The jiva is an emanation of the Complete and Perfect Lord, and is itself a complete unit, free in all respects to experience its completeness in its devotional relationship with the Lord. This is big news offered to any fortunate reader of this sastra, indeed to the world. Personally, I find shelter in these statements of eternal truths. The weary obligations of mundane society and all taxing relations, pertaining mostly to the body only, fade away in the background as unimportant. What a relief. In my heart this is a great source of rejoicing. To know of the existence of that Complete Source, Who remains unaffected as the balance, no matter what happens on the level of relative reality. And I am connected to Him. He is that loving father, with Whom there is always shelter, where there is never any embarrassment. He is that intimate friend, knowing our hearts, to whom we need not express always, that troubled feeling, or acking longing, for He knows. That eternal Guide is He, knower of past, present and future, unimaginable in potency, seeing the universe as building blocks and our bodies as temporal yantras, machines for acting out His great play for the benefit of all. The benefit for all. Even for me.

In this way, Sri Isopanisad gives great solace to any wayward jiva, somehow stuck in the material world of mind and misunderstood ego. And our dear Srila Prabhupada, by his great mercy for these conditioned souls, has that heart-warming ability to put into words the Lords mood and desire. “Factually, no one has to do anything more than to render devotional service to the Lord.” (Mantra 2, purport.) The simplicity of this statement is bordering comedy, yet I find a deep and solemn meditation, concealed underneath the surface. Solemn and grave, not because of its depressing expression, no. Solemn is the message of the spiritual world, for so much time is wasted here in the relative. Like a fish in the net of the fisherman struggles to free itself, not knowing that it is only entwined further and further in the masks of death by its vigorous attempts at escape, ending up in a state of suspended animation in the end, with room only, maybe, for occasional breaths, and then death. This is the gravity of the message expounded in Sri Isopanisad. Atma hanas, those asuric, beast like beings, hands drenched in karmic blood from countless attempts at the very life of the soul, proclaiming great advancement and deep learning, only sink down into the dominion of perpetual, heinous suffering and intolerable existence, how lost they are in themselves. What great need is there not for this message of Sri Isopanisad? I have seen myself sliding down this same shaft, destination unknown, but in prospect ultimate depression and waste of living energy, with suffering and death in the ultimate end. I refuse this lot. I will choose that other way. I will take heed of this message.

As a result of this, and by the mercy of Srila Prabhupada, I engage in the devotional service of the Lord, first of all by hearing and chanting the names, pastimes and glories of the Lord. In actuality, this is the true quota of the living entity. And in accordance with the isavasya principle (mantra one), I will make proper use of this quota. I will, with whatever submission and thankfulness I can muster, take advantage of this opportunity of the human form of life, so rare, in the evolution of different life forms, so very rare, and its facilities to engage in self-realisation, so rare. It cannot be missed.

Yet before the mind can begin its campaign of anxiety and stress, that chocking grip around the throat of all good sense and inspiration: “You’ll never make it! Only fools engage in such a utopian striving, uphill climb for a goal only indicated on the farthest of horizons”, there is a benediction given. Srila Prabhupada mentions it in one of his purports (mantra 3), that those who sincerely try, yet cannot complete, this process of rediscovery of our relationship with the Supreme Lord, this spiritual treasure hunt for life’s true meaning, are not condemned with failure. What great fortune! All progress achieved is carefully recorded and preserved, and the next birth of such a “half-selfrealized man” is one given a “better chance for culturing self-realization on account of their sincere efforts”.

This gives rise to great optimism in my heart. This magnanimous attitude of the spiritual realm instils faith in this process. I can only pray that I will preserver and keep afloat in this ever agitated ocean of miseries, the material world.

In conclusion, looking back down the path I have already trodden, I can faintly recognise a pattern of events and experiences throughout my life, this one life. I see the protective hand of my Lord and His endearing associates always watching over me, invisible to my conditioned sight at times, incomprehensible to my material mind, inconceivable to the logic of my relative intellect, yet always there. Never alone am I, for my soul has a connection with the Complete Whole. I can only follow in the footstep of the mahabhagavata devotee, petitioning the Lord through an astounding set of prayers in the last mantras of Sri Isopanisad. The concluding prayer in its opening phrase, in particular, draws my attention, naya supatha, “please lead me on the right path to reach You”. This is that causeless mercy of the Lord, which is my only beacon of hope, His ever kind intervention in my life, be it guidance from within the heart, authoritative instructions and descriptions in sastra to rekindle my desire for approaching Him or as the spiritual master and the vaishnavas. I can only maintain a spiritual hope of such a reciprocation from the Lord, however I must admit that this hope is not without foundation, according to Sri Isoapanisad. Srila Prabhupada comforts all lamentations and feelings of inadequateness, on the part of any conditioned living entity in the very introduction to his publications of this Sri Isopanisad: “ … if you want to search out Krishna by studying the Vedic literature, then you will be baffled. … But you can very easily learn about Him from His devotees. … His devotee can deliver him to you. That is the potency of Krishna’s devotee.” Of course, Srila Prabhupada is himself that devotee, giving the Lord freely to all who seek out their relation with Him, through this, and many other of his books.

This study of Sri Isopanisad, this real life treasure hunt, although performed by a conditioned living entity, a fallen jiva, like myself, has at least produced one ting, which I can directly experience. I have increased my desire to engage in the devotional process, especially to invest increasingly more of my heart into the service of my spiritual master. This I consider a great success.

Following in the footsteps of the acharyas, part one: Prince Arjuna

Arjuna, the mighty pandava prince, was the most powerful warrior of his time. He was also a pure devotee of Lord Krishna, thus being endowed with numerous divine qualities. Yet, as depicted in Srimad Bhagavad Gita, when faced with his elders, guru and kinsmen in battle, at the holy place of Kuruksetra, he became bewildered in his duties. At the same time, by his side as his charioteer was Sri Krishna, the Supreme Personality of Godhead and the intimate friend of Arjuna. So as the Srimad Bhagavad Gita unfolds, Arjuna presents his doubts about fighting before Sri Krishna and Krishna in return speaks the Gita. An important point to understand in this connection is that although seemingly bewildered, Arjuna merely acts out a role as a conditioned soul influenced by false ego. Being a pure devotee and merciful by nature, Arjuna enacts the conditionings of a fallen jiva, so that the Lord can give transcendental knowledge through the medium of the Bhagavad Gita for the benefit of the world.

 Henceforth, being in the category of the fallen jivas, I will attempt with this small essay to explore Arjuna’s doubts and put my own words to his struggle, trying to draw parallels from my own experience as an aspiring devotee. Following the chronological presentation of arguments by Arjuna as given in the book, I will present my analysis, and conlusion in the end.

Compassion. Srila Prabhupada explains the reason for Arjuna’s compassion. It is all due to softheartedness, being a pure devotee of Krishna. So this is not an ordinary quality. Also his compassion is not directly targeted towards fellow living entities who are suffering some affliction of the body or who are in a type of distress. This is what brings out compassion in common people in general. However, being a pure soul, advanced in learning, Arjuna is on a higher level. He is faced with aggressors, men clad in armour and bearing weapons who want to take his life and kingdom. They are his kinsmen and respected elders, and the compassion that wells up in him is due to their decision to fight amongst themselves (Srila Prabhupada, purport Bg. 1.28). Having gone there to pick a fight with Arjuna and his brothers, they have assembled an army of following of the same persuasion, weapons at the ready, and Arjuna’s first response, the valiant warrior, is to immediately considering withdrawal from the battlefield, feeling sorry for how their minds are bent upon such an abominable end of destruction and greed. This is the glorious kind-heartedness of the devotee. However, the mystery of Sri Krishna is unveiled as Arjuna puts his compassionate doubt before his friend. His response is unexpected: “… you are mourning for that which is not worthy of grief.” (Bg. 2.11) With this statement Krishna argues that Arjuna is a great statesman, a leader of peoples. When aggressors appear on the horizon, with an attitude to overthrow the pious rule of the land, rather than becoming introspective, Arjuna should at once draw his sword, confident that his actions as a protector in society are based on a deeper understanding of the eternality of the soul in every living being, and therefore to slay the enemy does not actually kill them, but rather solves the immediate problem at hand, including liberating wayward jivas, his enemies, from their current bodily conditionings, thereby absolving their sins with spiritual justice.

Enjoyment. This is a less noble doubt presented by Arjuna. As royalty in the exalted house of Kuru, prince Arjuna has had the very best of upbringing. From birth he has been taught the transcendental knowledge of the Vedas. He is pure in action as well as mind, so his statements about his own enjoyment of material happiness, is not very befitting a man of his character. Here we can only conclude that this is all due to his acting out the role of a conditioned soul according to the will of Krishna for our benefit. In response to this doubt Krishna very expertly turns Arjuna’s arguments against him. If he retires to the forest, being a ksatria by nature, he will not enjoy, but suffer the pangs of false renunciation. And his kinsmen, also, do not share his mentality. If they are given to rule, they will cause havoc in society and persecute Arjuna and his family to the best of their ability. However, if Arjuna preservers, putting his fate in the prescribed duties of varnashram and fight, he is sure to enjoy either the kingdom in peace, free from envious family members, or should he perish in the battle, he is guaranteed rebirth in the heavenly planets, “svarga-dvaram apavritam” (Bg. 2.32).

Sinful reactions. As a man learned in the vedic scriptures, Arjuna knows all too well the destination which awaits sinful men, and he shuns the prospect of these destinations being his just award should he be guilty of unduly slaying respected contemporaries, elders and gurus. Again he contemplates the possibility of renunciation of his administerial duties for a life as a secluded hermit. Presenting this plan before Krishna, the Lord in return fans the natural ksatria spirit of Arjuna, in this way indirectly praising many of Arjuna’s previous achievements. What good would his unrivalled skills in battle and the many mystic artefacts he had received from the demigods do him in the forest? Arjuna was no yogi. And maybe most of all, to live with the shame and scolding comments of his peers on account of his cowardice, would prove to be worse than death. Krishna also instructs Arjuna in the art of detached work, “naivam papam avapsyasi”, (Bg. 2.38).

Destruction of dynasty, varna-sankara. Being naturally inclined towards kingship and the preservation of religious society, Arjuna holds great respect for the vedic traditions handed down from generation to generation by the revered elders of the Kuru dynasty. The varnashram principles of societal structure and the sacred samskara ceremonies protect humanity at large from degradation into hellish regions and species of life. By slaying of elders, these traditions would be lost and without religious engagements, women would become prey to adultery with its resultant unwanted population. These children, the varna-sankara, deprived of pious upbringing and tutoring, would be the cause of hellish conditions in society, causing the human form of life to be wasted on irreligious acts resulting in the jiva soul being entrapped in degrading conditionings for perpetual suffering “narake niyatam vaso” (Bg. 1.43). Sri Krishna goes to the throat of these arguments by giving transcendental knowledge. Varnashrama is not meant to be the kept as the status quo, but rather as a stepping stone to ultimately transcend bodily and social designations and come to the spiritual platform of the soul. This is the true benediction for society given in the Vedas. As a devotee, Arjuna should endure his service of fighting, seeing it as an offering to Krishna, and further such devotional service into his role as an administrator in society as an “atma-van” (Bg. 2.45), one established in the self, the soul in his constitutional position as a servant of Krishna. This would be for the greatest good of all living entities.

Indecision. The culmination of Arjuna’s doubts can be summed up in verse 2.7, “dharma-sammudha- cetah”. After an intense, introductory discussion, instigating the Lord’s mood of giving instructions, the prince admits defeat before Krishna, humbly revealing his indecision about how to act faced with his present dilemma. This constitutes the major portion of the Bhagavad Gita, Arjuna surrendering followed by the Lord taking the position of guru to impart transcendental knowledge.

So, what is my position? If Arjuna enacts these doubts for Krishna to speak for my benefit, how can I relate this to my experience of living as a devotee within the material atmosphere? I must honestly admit that my calibre is galaxies away from Arjuna’s level. Still, by the mercy of the pure devotee one is lifted up and made able to engage in devotional service.

There is an inherent rebellious mentality in the conditioned living entities, “ahankara vimudhatma” (Bg. 3.27). I am the doer. I make my own destiny. I will enjoy. I am my own authority. This is the symptom of conditioned reality. And most of us, at least I can speak for myself, bring this mentality into devotional service. I relate to people from my past on the bodily platform. I contemplate objects for selfish sense enjoyment. I speculate on my activities on the material plane, trying to estimate whether or not they will bring good or bad fortune. I get caught up in preserving a familiar routine, or so called mental equilibrium, without including the superior desire of the Lord, beyond my own. And maybe most of all, I hesitate to engage wholeheartedly in the process of harinama sankirtan, on behalf of my spiritual master.

In conclusion, I realize that Arjuna can teach me the bona fied approach to all such challenges in devotional life, for he exemplifies one of the Lord’s final instructions “bhava mad-bhakto” (B.g 18.65). Surrender to Krishna and His representative, the spiritual master. This will clear all doubts with time, as shown practically in the Bhagavad Gita itself. And in the same abovementioned verse, Sri Krishna concludes “mam evaisyasi satyam te pratijane”:

“You will come to me without fail, I promise.”

The search for clarity through a poem

There it is again.

That eerie feeling

Of uncertainty.

Unmistakable

Is its approach,

Crouched in the mind,

Its home.

If I may speak freely

For a moment:

I have a desire to

Serve my

Spiritual master.

There is no lie

In this statement.

In this

My heart and intellect

Correlate.

Even though

The above mentioned truth

Has been spoken,

Still

I am yet to

Embrace

One pointedness

In purpose,

2.41.

Still my aim wavers,

My target blurs.

This poem

Therefore

Focuses on

Revealing,

Through the tool

Of introspection,

The source

Of this uncertainty,
Thereby invigorating my ability
To overcome it.

Firstly,

I honestly believe

In the process of

Bhakti yoga,

And the word process

In itself

Implies

A work in progress.

Now,

Here is where

Uncertainty

Enters the scene:

Conditioned life

For millions of births

Has taken its toll.

Henceforth

The feeling of doubt

Of ability and purpose.

Henceforth

The need to second guess decisions made,

The idea of perfection on one’s own accord,

The fear of failure due to misplaced surrender,

Thus culminating

In this feeling of

Uncertainty.

However,
Know

That Krishna is there in

The heart.

The spiritual master

Has our best welfare

In mind,

“Had you forgotten this?”

Know

That we need only act,

In honesty,

And preserver,

Thus manifesting

Humility

Through the need for surrendering

To the process.

Know
That we are not the doers.

We are the receivers of will

To fulfill the purpose

Of rightful actions

Based on true position.

In conclusion,

There is shelter to be found

In these statements.

Uncertainty lives only

As a perverted reflection

Of the humility

Exemplified

In the devotees of the Lord.

Uncertainty

Is considering

The material situation.

Surrendering to the reality

Of a work in progress,

Blessed by a divine descent

In the form of spiritual truths,

Is its

Elimination.

 “Those who are on this path

Are resolute in purpose,

And their aim is one.”

All that remains

Is to cultivate

Acceptance

Of free wills’ responsibility

And make the choice

Again

And again.

Mind, the age of the wild west and Srila Prabhupada

My dear mind,

Is seems I caught you

Again,

Dripping ethereal blood

On you hand,

A perpetrator of another

Illicit act,

Killer of the soul.

I know you, evil twin.

I know you, festering parasite,

Having associated intimately

With you for countless life times.

You, sir, are a repeated felon,

Like a kleptomaniac,

Or a serial killer,

Always contemplating

The next score,

Secretly stalking

Your next victim.

In vedic times,

The rajarishis

Would have had your life

In exchange for your

Crimes,
Thereby mercifully
Absolving you of your sins,
But this is

The age of Kali.

The powerful rule of the

Ancient royal saints

In now only a distant echo

Of eons past.

This is your good fortune,

Dacoit mind.

In this age of quarrel

The likes of you

Roam freely

In society at large,

Wreaking havoc
With shootouts and lynching

And resultant utter despair

Of the fallen souls.

However, hear me today:

Rejoice while you can,

For there is a new sheriff in town!

Fearlessly strolling

Into the subtle saloon,

That is your sphere,

He acts on the merit

Of transcendental service to the guru

Alone.

Although he may seem

Aged and fragile,

He carries the youthful vigor

Of the spiritual world

With him,

Delivering

Sawed off, double barreled, twelve gauge mercy

And sixteen syllable

Quick draw purity,

Never lost for words.

Henceforth,

I sentence you,

O’ astral outlaw,

To a prolonged period

Of incarceration in devotee flesh

For multiple life times,

With hearing and chanting

As your only bread and water.

Court adjourned.

All rise,

For Srila Prabhupada.